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Welp... Health is still at a steady decline.  I'm resilient, so o know i must grind. A few good habits and consistency are starting to form. Just have to wipe the many remaining bad ones.

That said. I want some results now, and where else to start at but mental disappointments? Hey at least these things I can fix immediately.

To be frank, I'm disappointed with a few artists (which will include fallout on their group as a casualty) and a few people I know personally. Some of them it's their attitude, others their lack of work ethic. I used to be a pretty positive guy, thing is my sister swears I'm hyper sensitive to things and let it affect me when it shouldn't. Ehhhhh maybe she's on to something here.

Now. I'm too lazy to hold on to grudges, and stuff like this isn't even a grudge, but I feel like when you have someone around you that's negative, or unappealing, it starts to rub off on you, and that's no good. When you think about people you should start off with something good or memorable. And if it's constantly a negative, that's a problem.

So yeah. There's people I've associated with for years, as a fan, fellow artist, as well as on a personal level. The more I think about it, the more I figure it'll be wiser to just stop worrying or disappointing myself with these people, and just stop following or talking to them.

On an artist sense, it's disappointing because I ultimately enjoy their art. On the personal side,   time is a limited resource we have. You're wasting my time, you gotta go.

So yeah. I don't have time for any extra negativity. I get paid to deal with it. Fuck outta here.
Actually want to say things are lookin positive for a change. 

Let me just say breaking bad habits is actually pretty tough. But you can't rely on anyone but yourself to break them. People, friends, can call you out on it because they care and all. But that doesn't matter. You'll see the ones that get called out ultimately not do anything. 

You have to catch yourself and do it yourself. Its a slow process for some. But you have to think about the journey. Not the end result.

Just had a talk with a friend going through the same thing and that's what drove it home to me. I was thinking it but not doing it. He got discouraged because he made no progress. 

"Think about how you're getting there, not why you aren't there yet" 

Right now its just cardio. I want to lift but my hands won't allow it. So just setup the good habits and go from there. 
Welp. It seems my efforts have been fruitless so far. I think my carpal tunnel has worsened.

I tried to draw and my hand simply stung. My left also has it, so its worsened as well.

I'm simply going to go to extremes, cutting off video game, computer use and drawing, as well as putting sleep as a priority.

Its bad enough I have a cyst that needs removal on my right wrist, but this is getting frustrating that instead of progress I'm just getting worse.
  • Listening to: Boston- don't look back
  • Reading: Dragon Last
  • Watching: Boxing Fans be foolish.
  • Playing: League
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: H2O
*Insert Non Negative thing here*
  • Listening to: steam coming out my head
  • Reading: nothing worth reading
  • Watching: My life implode
  • Playing: Something I'm always losing at
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
Title says it all. 


I feel like shit. Everything that can go wrong IS going wrong and steadily worsening despite what I do to correct or improve on it. 

SO, the best option is to just not give a fuck since everything is gonna fuck up and go wrong anyway like it always does and just let it all collapse on me and get this bullshit over with. 
  • Listening to: My Air conditioner
  • Reading: Dynamic Figure Drawing - Burne Hogarth
  • Watching: My Stress level
  • Playing: Gundam Extreme Versus Full Boost
  • Eating: Something to lower cholesterol
  • Drinking: Lemon Water, whatever I made in my Juicer.
I thought I was making progress on my left hand while my right was worsening, but a wake up on a day off only results in my left hand being in all sorts of pain. 


This shit is getting annoying. The irritation only increasing when I'm doing what I gotta do for it to improve with no results. 
  • Listening to: My Air conditioner
  • Reading: Dynamic Figure Drawing - Burne Hogarth
  • Watching: My Stress level
  • Playing: Gundam Extreme Versus Full Boost
  • Eating: Something to lower cholesterol
  • Drinking: Lemon Water, whatever I made in my Juicer.
After putting up with a 7 day work week I have 2 days off. about to make a call to a job offer I was given. I hope it goes through and that I can get an interview. That said I hope I can have this opportunity NOT get in the way of a wedding I am going to in two weeks.

I would like to have my cake and eat it too in this case.
  • Listening to: The radio
  • Reading: Something involving Drizzt
  • Watching: My diet
  • Playing: Gundam Extreme Versus Full Boost
  • Eating: Something to lower cholesterol
  • Drinking: Lemon Water, whatever I made in my Juicer.
Companies preach team work, but at the end of the day, shit is cut throat. 

I think its time to go back to job hunting because quite frankly, getting fucked over at your job is the worst.

Oh right, the lesson. Nice guys always finish last. Always. I'm overdue for a heel turn. It's time to fuck people over right back at work.
  • Listening to: The radio
  • Reading: Something involving Drizzt
  • Watching: My diet
  • Playing: Gundam Extreme Versus Full Boost
  • Eating: Something to lower cholesterol
  • Drinking: Lemon Water, whatever I made in my Juicer.
Well doc thinks I may have Tendonitis. Xrays revealed nothing. got an anti inflamatory. wonder how long it will take for me to see results...

Basically, I cant draw right now...
  • Listening to: Nothing at the moment
  • Reading: Nothing at the moment
  • Watching: My stress level
  • Playing: Gundam Extreme Versus Full Boost
  • Eating: Tuna Sushi
  • Drinking: Lemon Water, whatever I made in my Juicer.
Hey April. 

March sucked. Don't you dare suck too.


Thanks.
  • Listening to: Nothing at the moment
  • Reading: Nothing at the moment
  • Watching: My stress level
  • Playing: Gundam Extreme Versus Full Boost
  • Eating: Tuna Sushi
  • Drinking: Lemon Water, whatever I made in my Juicer.
Well. 

I've managed to lose more weight, that's good. My goal this month was 225, I'm at 227 currently. 

I have X-rays on the wings for both wrists and back, and an endoscopy for my chest next week.

getting back to 100% will take a while. But I do want to get back to drawing. 
A lot of times you forget about your health while you do what you "have to do".


Stop. Take care of you. The last thing you need is your bad habits catching up to you. And the will. I learned that the hard way.

I was just under 250 pounds a while back. It's been a long hard fight. so many lapses, loss of motivation, laziness, you name it. But right now I'm at 230.5 last time I was in the 220s? when I was in the Navy.
Hopefully this burst of weight loss from eating well translates in to me drawing and commenting more.
  • Listening to: Apartment 26 - Backwards
  • Reading: Freezing. Sandman Chronicles.
  • Watching: My stress level.
  • Playing: Gundam Extreme Versus Full Boost
  • Eating: blend of Yogurt, fruit and juice
  • Drinking: Water
Nothing really post worthy to place on dA artwise.

Too frustrated with life as it is. You get fed up with the BS of some people after a while. I'm starting to question if doing the right thing and being a nice guy is worth it anymore.
  • Listening to: Secret Of Mana OST - Still of the Night
  • Reading: It's Not My Fault I'm Not Popular
  • Watching: Inferior people at work.
  • Playing: Etrian Odessey 4
  • Eating: carefully
  • Drinking: Water
Welp Summer is winding down

Still workin on getting in shape. finally started screwing around with the Bamboo tablet I got. I'm glad I bought that instead of a high powered one as I'm not really feeling it as opposed to paper.

But maybe I should try NOT using GIMP XD
  • Listening to: Brave Fencer Musashi OST : Corona Jumper
  • Reading: Knight Seeker by Eric Cooper
  • Watching: Boobs bouncing
  • Playing: Etrian Odessey 4
  • Eating: sammich
  • Drinking: Water
Had some fun at the New York Comic Con.

I was delighted to run into www.Zeiva.deviantart.com today, were I practically went fanboy mode and mentioned how much of a fan I am. I even got her autograph.

Ran into some cool peeps who happen to also come by on DA, and some people repping DA as well.

Good day.
  • Listening to: Tides (featuring Bajka) - Fundacion NYC Dj Sasha.
  • Reading: Gunsmith Cats. Revised Edition Volume 3
  • Watching: Tiffania's Boobs bouncing
  • Playing: Demon's Souls (PS3)
  • Eating: Almonds
  • Drinking: Water
Meh. I think the whole New Year thing is no big deal I'm not making resolutions. They're made to be broken.  You want to accomplish something get out there and do it, don't just resolve to do it.

I WILL continue to lose weight, and get my spark back as far as drawing. That's all there is to it.

I became a Premium Member again... I'll be taking advantage of the Critique feature, Everyone that knows what I do for comments, don't expect brown-nosing. ;)
  • Listening to: Tides (featuring Bajka) - Fundacion NYC Dj Sasha.
  • Reading: Gunsmith Cats. Revised Edition Volume 3
  • Watching: Tiffania's Boobs bouncing
  • Playing: Demon's Souls (PS3)
  • Eating: Almonds
  • Drinking: Water
Passed my Driver's test easily, graduated officially with a 3.74 GPA [Magna Cum Luade] scoring an Associate's Degree in applied science.

Now for the hard part, landing that all important job.
  • Listening to: Patacon Pisao - Jhonny Ventura
  • Reading: Read or Die vol 4
  • Watching: TV
  • Playing: Armored Core 4
  • Eating: Green Grapes
  • Drinking: Water
  • Listening to: Patacon Pisao - Jhonny Ventura
  • Reading: Read or Die vol 4
  • Watching: TV
  • Playing: Armored Core 4
  • Eating: Green Grapes
  • Drinking: Water
I took my first driving lesson today. GET OUT THE ROAD


also LOL MUDKIPZ
  • Listening to: Horizons by LTJ Bukem
  • Reading: Read or Die vol2
  • Watching: Cromartue High School
  • Playing: Phantasy Star IV/ Phantasy Star Universe
  • Eating: Sweet and Sour Chicken
  • Drinking: Water
College is done for now. Awaiting graduation (whenever that is) get my associates degree and then move on to gettiin a job and so on. Things should get interesting from here.