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It's Three in the morining... Luigi, Link, and TJ Combo are driving home from an after party in celebration of  TJ Combo busting some ass in a boxing match in TJ Combo's car, TJ is passed out drunk in the back. Luigi's driving.

Luigi: "I tell ya Link, TJ got plastered pretty quick, he's almost always the last man standing when it comes to drinking...... what's with him?"

Link: "He's tired of being a sterotype for fighting games...the 'Negro who Punches you' "

Luigi: "Ah, he's going through that phase huh? Well I can understand... there's a lot of black guys in Fighting Tournaments that are usually some kind of boxer... Balrog, Bruce, Micheal Max... but ya know what... at least he gets his.

Link: "What do you mean?"

Luigi: "What the hell do you think I mean?? Hell aint you seen Super Mario World???"

Link: "What about it?"

Luigi: "When me and that fat, short, punk of a brother of mine saved her he got a smooch... you know what I got? A HARDY HANDSHAKE!!! What kinda thank you is that after I bust my balls avoiding all sorts of traps, running on a time schedule beating the snot out of anything that stands in my way and having to brave through Ghosts Houses solo since my "pal" Yoshi is to much of a wuss to go in there?"

Link: "So what? You got Daisy right?"

Luigi: "...let me ask you this. What the hell is she the princess of? Some no name kingdom. That damn tomboy... Besides. She's just a figure head all my fans (I love you all by the way) keep saying just so that the Mario fanboys can keep thier mouths shut."

Link: "Naw man... You don't have it so bad... At least your fans got your back... heck, at least you got a hand shake. My fans keep thinking me and Zelda be gettin' it on"

Luigi: "Don't give me that. Back in your second adventure I saw something going on behind those curtains."

Link: "She came to finally give me some lovin' ... but the bitch "tripped". I caught her, and it "spoiled the mood" besides... the morning breath she was packing would have made Bowser's flame breath smell like roses, but I was willing to brave it just cuz I wanted some."

*Luigi cringes, as he turns the corner and stops at a light*

Link: "Besides. Zelda's just a tease...I've about had it with that crap...

Luigi: "This needs explaining..."

*Luigi floors it as Link takes a deep breath*

Link: "Remember the Ocarina of Time situation?"

Luigi: "Yeah. That's some good work you put up there man, you went through the ringer on that one."

Link: " True enough, but that was the physical you talkin' about, the mental...."

Luigi: "Quick question first... WHY does she stay gettin kidnapped?"

Link: "The same thing that be happening to Peach... she gets "kidnapped" willingly... Ganondorf STAY talking trash about giving it to her good."

Luigi: "...All right, so what was the stuff that pissed you off in OOT?"

*Luigi turns another corner and tramples over a goomba*

Goomba 1: "ARGH!!!"

Goomba 2: "You bastard!!!!!"

*Luigi doesnt even bother looking back and presses a button on the wheel, launching a turtle shell from the back of the car and owning the other Goomba*

Link: "...Damn, were you even trying?"

Luigi: "How else do you think I dominate Mario Kart? So... back to OOT"

Link: "All right. There were three chicks I coulda gotten some from in particular out there..."

Luig: "I'm listening..."

Link: "Malon, a ridiculously pretty farm girl. Saria, 15 pounds of hotness in a 2 pound bucket  and Ruto a strangley cute Zora."

Luigi: "So, why didnt you?"

*Link has a look of irritance*

Link: "I had to get a horse, and Milk from cows that were part of Malon's ranch.... so I could save that broad. She was so hot too as an adult..."

Luigi: "What about Saria?"

Link: " You have NO idea how much I wanted to tap that. Hell SHE WANTED IT. But I could only get an Ocarina and a send off from a kid. As an adult, it turns out she was a sage... so instead of the goods I get a I could save that broad."

Luigi: "That's garbage. So the third one, Ruto wasn't the charm because?"

Link: "Yo. Ruto was a straight up FREAK. Even as a kid she wanted it. She gave me one of the spiritual stones that I needed to get the Master Sword (Again) So I could get Big (heh heh) but...fate intervenes and she's a sage too... so instead of goods, I ONCE again got a medallion... so I could save that broad."

Luigi: "I smell an inconsistency. Why did she become Shiek, and help you then?"

Link: "Ganon was getting into that Kama Sutra book too much... She couldnt handle it."

Luigi: ...ok. So. What about when you saved her? Why didnt she give you any??

Link: "After I whupped Ganon's sorry ass I was wating outside of town while everyone and thier mom was partying, I was waitin' for that broad. She goes and says "Wait for me at home. I got a surprise for you :heart: So I'm thinkin OH YEAH, get back and get ready to hit that like a home run in the 9th inning. I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait... and I finally doze off out of boredom. I wake the hell up and-

Luigi: "The hoe sent you back to normal time, making you a prepubescent twerp again... That's F'ed up... so what are you gonna do about it in Twilight Princess?"

Link: She dont give me any after I save her... I might just gut that hoe. Cuz if she's gone, the sage jobs are pointless, and that means Ruto and Saria are fair game, I grab Malon and the rest is history.

Luigi: Damn man. You gonna hog all the fun??

Link: Hell no. You coming with me fool.

Luigi: That's what I'm talkin about!

*Luigi honks the horn and tramples another goomba as he drifts through some turns. He finnaly makes it to Link's house. Link gets off and shakes Luigi's hand.

Link: "Thanks for the ride. I'll let you know when we gonna get it on with them three."

Luigi: "No sweat, I'm lookin forward to that. Which reminds bout that Navi fairy?"

Link: "Navi? She tried to hide it... but she wanted it."

Luigi: "Really?"

Link: "Think about it for a second... what's the first thing she said when I got the Master Sword (again)? 'Wow! You're really big now!'  *Link grins* "

*Luigi grins*

Link: "Exactly, what does she do when I dont need her?"

Luigi: "She goes in your clothes........... for some faerie loving... "

Link: "Exactly. Take care of my boy TJ"

Luigi: "No sweat. See ya tommorow"

*Luigi drives off and Link heads home.*
Ah yes these two...

This was a joke I used to go on about in my military days, I would always go on about how Luigi and Link STAY gettin played. I always said this to anyone that thought Link was ever gonna get any from that ho Zelda. Then I'd go off stating stuff about this from the Nintendo 64 game, Ocarina of Time. I still have the original rant, but I modified it to give it some story like qualities. If you wanna read the original rant, send me a note with your email and I'll be more then happy to forward it to you.

I felt like posting this after seeing one of my inspirations post up some of his kick ass Legend of Link work. So I dedicate this posting to him. Much love to T3h Dan :heart:


Special thanks go to my miltary buddies, my inspiration and fuel for coming up with silly stuff like this

Luigi, Legend of Link Charecters property of Nintendo.
TJ Combo and his car property of Rare
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DELL35211 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2007
SearchChurroMK2 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2006
"Negro who Punches People".

It was so obvious, and I haven't even noticed that stereotype until just now.

So, now we know what game characters do when we turn off the system: Womanize and run over Goombas. Who'dve guessed.
Densuo Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah, a lot of people let that sterotype slip by.

I take it you liked it. I guess expressing that you like a girl its womanizing now O.o;;;?
SearchChurroMK2 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2006
Well, judging by Link's comments, seems like all he wants from chicks is some action...
Densuo Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Considering how many times he's saved her... she should at least give him a foot massage...

It was really just a silly rant I came uo with, the original was a rant, I just thought it'd be funny if this particular silent protagonist finnaly say something... besides have you heard how she sounds when she gets hit real good in ssbm??? O.o; definetly a screamer... ok now I'm being silly >.>
killaCaravagio Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006  Professional Digital Artist
military makes you come up with some weird stuff trust me
Densuo Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yup... this is only a small example of the stuff us military guys can come up with when we're bored out of our minds ^^;

I'm assuming you liked it?
killaCaravagio Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006  Professional Digital Artist
god we used to creat low crawl trains you hook your feet to the sholders of the person behind you then low crawl
realjupiterknight Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006
HAHAHA, that's great! Luigi, you my boy in all the SMB games and in Mario Kart. No one tears up the track like you! Link, you my boy in SSM and SSBM. Can't wait to see you own in SSMM against Solid Snake and the rest. Pit will give you a good run for your money.
SaturnGrl Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2006  Professional General Artist
I LOVE it! I remember when we used to talk about this, except TJ combo wasn't there, just his car. Oh, how I wish we could make a flash movie of this!
Densuo Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I agree, it would be ridiculous
dan-heron Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2006
D= Navi ish dirty! D=

XD Dude, that was hillarious! I can't tell you what I liked the most.... tho owning gombas randomly is one of my fav XD
Densuo Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The fact that you in particular enjoyed it alone makes it worth while that I posted it.

Thanks. This is the second time your the first to post on my prose.... I feel so Loved T.T
dan-heron Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2006
you need luff man. Also, you need to request me something >3 you know you can ask for piccu ^^
Densuo Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*Goes to write t3h Dan a note*
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